How To Make A Perfect Murder
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, or so the saying goes. And that premise was put to the test in the third episode of Columbo's seventh flavor, Make Me a Perfect Murder.
Starring Trish Van Devere as murderous Television receiver executive Kay Freestone, and boasting a supporting cast jam-packed with talent, viewers the globe over were surely champing at the flake to wrap their eyes around it.
Merely is Make Me a Perfect Murder a sure-fire ratings hit, or a dismal flop sure to atomic number 82 to bungling Idiot box executives being given their marching orders? Let'southward rewind to 25th February, 1978 and find out…
Dramatis personae
Lieutenant Columbo: Peter Falk
Kay Freestone: Trish Van Devere
Mark McAndrews: Laurence Luckinbill
Frank Flanagan: Patrick O'Neal
Walter Mearhead: James McEachin
Valerie Kirk: Lainie Kazan
Luther: Ron Rifkin
Jonathan: Kip Gilman
Sergeant Burke: Jerome Guardino
TV repairman: Bruce Kirby
Dog: As himself
Written by: Robert Blees
Directed by: James Frawley
Score past: Patrick Williams
Significant locations: CNC Network HQ (3944 Lankershim Blvd, Studio Metropolis, LA); Mark McAndrews beach house (26646 Latigo Shore Dr, Malibu)
Episode synopsis: Columbo Make Me a Perfect Murder
PS – The TV behind her weighed in at 30 tonnes
When Television receiver exec Mark McAndrews gets promoted to head up the CNC network'southward East Coast operations, he has a nasty surprise for his brilliant Executive Assistant (and secret lover) Kay Freestone.
Non but is he not taking her to New York with him, he'due south also not going to put her forward to replace him equally CNC's West Declension head honcho. In his own patronising words: "I tin can't requite you the West Coast, baby." Why? Considering although she's great at what she does, he believes she doesn't make decisions, only takes guesses – and is besides large a risk to make full his shoes.
Kay, naturally, is hopping mad and doesn't hibernate it, only Marking retains his cool. "You wanna sue me? Shoot me? That make you lot feel better?" he asks, whipping out a gun from a drawer. "Right through the center. Make me a perfect murder, babe."
In a concluding (and poor) attempt to sweeten the pill, he reveals a peace offering: he's bought Kay the new Mercedes she's had her centre on and has personalised it simply for her. "The licence plate says K#1," he says. "Well that's a comment from the management."
Such mansplaining hardens Kay's middle further confronting Mark. She pinches his gun and information technology's not long before this ambitious dame has cooked up an as ambitious and high-gamble revenge plan.
During an exec screening of a new and fierce TV moving-picture show she has masterminded (named The Professional), Kay takes her place in the projection booth aslope super-wing projectionist Walter – ostensibly to ensure he doesn't foul things up for her, but really so her murderous scheme can be put into exercise.
Sending Walter off on a low-level errand, Kay has a nerve-shredding four minutes in which to sneak to Mark's office, slay him, and become back to the projection booth to change the reel. Any delays will blow her cover completely and she'll be behind bars before you can say "Make me a perfect murder, infant."
Monitoring her progress with a tape recorded inaugural, Kay gets up to Mark's function without being noticed. He is snoozing on his executive burrow but looks up every bit she enters – just in fourth dimension to run into her produce a gun and popular a cap in his treacherous center. Better abolish that New York trip, eh Marker?
Kay now faces a desperate race to get dorsum to the berth in fourth dimension – and it's far from plain sailing. Although she successfully stashes the murder weapon on the lift roof, her route is agonisingly blocked by a dawdling security guard who's taking far too much interest in a Playboy centrefold as she lurks in the shadows, itching to get moving.
The baby-sit blunders off just in time, allowing Kay to race back to the booth to make the reel modify with a cliche-tastic second to spare. As Walter returns to the berth, the merely show of Kay'due south 'perfect murder' is the cotton editing glove she was wearing, which she hastily flung to the floor. Moments later the screening is called off later on word of Mark's slaying reaches the execs. What a whirlwind!
We next run across Kay the following morning time equally the police investigation is in full swing. She'southward summoned to Mark'southward role where she encounters Lieutenant Columbo lying prone on the burrow, Mark's reading glasses on the tiptop of his head. He asks Kay to pretend to exist pointing a gun at him in an endeavour to exam his theory that Marker knew the killer because he didn't put his glasses on.
Despite threats fabricated to the station past activists, Columbo is also convinced the killing was an inside chore because of the building'southward summit security. Only everyone's whereabouts are accounted for at the time of the murder, so it'southward a terrific puzzle. Columbo likewise happens to be on the scene to hear CNC'due south 'big dominate' Frank Flanagan ask Kay to take over Mark's duties – in the short term at least. Could this promotion provide a hint of a motive?
Columbo next questions our mate Walter, who'south downwards in the project booth working on an intricate model ship. The detective spots the discarded glove on the floor and pockets it, claiming he's going to requite it to his moving-picture show-loving nephew. Kay appears at the booth and Columbo tails her to her next challenge: calming an errant performer who's running scared ahead of the next day's live bear witness.
Here we encounter Kay at her best: a empathetic and caring friend, who is able to turn around a hard situation and persuade reluctant former child song-and-trip the light fantastic star Valerie Kirk to return to the sound stage and basically become her sh*t together. The amazing turnaround in Valerie's attitude is noted by the prove'due south director. "How about walking on water?" he suggests when Kay quips what her next chore will be.
Jaded by her exertions, Kay makes a pilgrimage to the family dwelling house where she grew up. It'southward now nil more than a derelict shack merely if she hoped to be alone, she's to exist disappointed. Columbo is at that place waiting for her later a tip-off from Kay's secretary – and he'southward in the mood to talk.
Over a pleasant chat (and a back rub for the Lieutenant!), Kay reveals that she doesn't believe Marker would have promoted her to the west coast peak task. Merely she pours water on the notion that she might have killed Mark to get behind his desk. "I don't call back people kill just for a job," replies Columbo. "Either in that location was no motive at all, like in these crazy kind of murders that you read about in the newspaper, or there was a very practiced motive."
Equally long as Kay'southward relationship with Mark was strictly professional, Columbo says he has no reason to suspect her. She was in the projection booth, after all. The detective also questions Kay nearly a slip of paper plant in Mark's function. It has the letter of the alphabet K on it, also as a series of numbers. We viewers know information technology's Mercedes model numbers, but Columbo is kept in the dark after Kay remains tight lipped.
The next solar day is a big day for both hunter and hunted. Columbo finds out a critical clue from projection ace Walter. On the nighttime of the killing, when he returned to the booth from his errand, Walter was disgusted to see the main protagonist in the Boob tube movie being screened blow his own brains out. This will provide Columbo with a light bulb moment later on. On a visit to Mark's beach house, the Lieutenant is besides on mitt to pick up a dry cleaning delivery – a woman's jacket! Perhaps Mark had a dear interest…
Kay, meanwhile, has Large trouble on her easily. Valerie has gone AWOL just hours ahead of the alive show – and when Kay tracks her down she finds a hot mess of a woman high on alcohol and pills. There's no way Valerie tin can perform, then Kay has to pull a swift one and arrange for The Professional to be dropped into its identify on the schedule at short discover. It'due south the right length, but the bailiwick matter is a liiiiiiitle different.
Columbo was 1 viewer hoping to catch the Valerie Kirk Show – so much and then that he heads to a TV repair store to pick up his broken set out of hours. The surly repairman is just finishing the chore but alerts Columbo that The Professional is ambulation instead. The Lieutenant is just in time to run across the scene where a guy blows his own brains out – and it's the trigger he needs to commencement making a solid case against Kay.
He confronts her that dark in her office. He's traced the adult female's blazer that was delivered to Marking'due south home. Information technology was tailored specifically for Kay. She has no pick but to come make clean about their romantic attachment, claiming it was all kept on the down low to avert network angst. Columbo has more questions, merely Kay has another fire to put out at a delayed filming shoot so the two head for the elevator.
It'south there that Kay notices the tell-tale silhouette of a gun – visible articulate as twenty-four hours through the frosted elevator roof panel. Ditching Columbo at the front door, she returns to the lift and tries repeatedly to reach the gun, her desperation palpable before she finally succeeds. The offending weapon is later flung down a drain, but simply after Kay receives a further shock: her Mercedes has been delivered to CNC HQ. Denying whatsoever noesis of it, she drives off into the nighttime to get the shoot back on rail.
Her dark'south going to get worse at that place. Frank Flanagan tracks her down – and he own't happy about Valerie's blowout, or Kay's conclusion to play The Professional person instead. Its ratings were dire – she'south wasted an expensive pic. He's also heard that Kay was planning to move into Marking's office. "Why not? The office comes with the job," she retorts. "But you don't, Kay," is his soul-crushing response. He'll give her until the cease of the calendar month to observe a new job.
Following this bombshell, the final person Kay needs to show upwards is Columbo, just show upward he does – and he's there to make an arrest. His case confronting Kay is complete, and information technology's a very strong one.
He'southward found out well-nigh the Mercedes Mark bought for Kay. It looks very much like a parting gift to a spurned lover. Based on Walter'due south earlier testimony, he's also figured out that Kay diddled with the projector's footage counter on the night of the killing to buy her enough fourth dimension to commit murder while still appearing to be in the booth.
He'south gathered even more damning show, likewise. The glove he took from the flooring of the projection booth has gunpowder on it. And as for the gun itself? That's the piece de resistance. Columbo reveals that constabulary found the bodily murder weapon that afternoon and replaced it on the roof of the elevator with another.
He shows Kay footage of the gun being placed – right earlier she and he took their elevator ride to the lobby. He and then shows further footage of the elevator panel right after Kay had exited the elevator afterward. The gun had gone – and only Kay could have washed it.
Down only not nevertheless out, Kay puts on a determined front. "I'll fight. I'll survive. I might even win," she says pragmatically before surrendering to Columbo every bit credits roll…
Best bit: the final countdown
Shown in glorious existent-time, Kay's four-infinitesimal mission to slay lover Mark and race back to the project booth is televisual tension at its very best.
The cool, androgynous calmness of Kay'due south inaugural voice on the tape offers a terrific dissimilarity to the stressful and hectic nature of her mission – never more than so than when the dithering security baby-sit (Columbo favourite Mike Lally) blocks her path as he eyes a dirty magazine centrefold.
The pressure is almost unbearable – for the viewer as well as Kay – and we, like her, tin exhale a sigh of relief when she finally makes it back to the booth. A bright scene, this is one of the best, well-nigh exciting murders of any Columbo episode.
My view on Make Me a Perfect Murder
A serious report in the corrupting influence of appetite and ability, Make Me a Perfect Murder is a existent countermeasure to the lightheartedness of season vii openers Try & Catch Me and Murder Nether Drinking glass – and is a highly impressive addition to the serial.
Columbo is back in TV land not quite xviii months afterwards the Ward Fowler case in Fade in to Murder, simply this time he's viewing things from the network perspective giving this episode a very dissimilar season. Brand Me a Perfect Murder is all nigh serious concern carried out by serious executives in a serious manner, clubbing it in with the likes of A Friend in Act and Past Dawn's Early Low-cal as ane of the series' most straight-faced adventures.
Equally a dominion I like my Columbo episodes to pack in a few practiced gags, simply the sober treatment hither seems spot on. Kay Freestone exists in a high-pressure world that demands excellence and punishes mistakes. What piddling sense of humor in that location is here is largely limited to the Columbo's neck injury and subsequent recovery, and is gentle plenty not to tiresome the edge of the intrigue.
As Kay Freestone, Trish Van Devere is a revelation. A woman succeeding in a man'due south earth, she's tough as teak, fearless and pragmatic while reserving genuine affection for those love to her (i.e. Valerie Kirk). The writing gives us a fully-realised character and Van Devere brings her to life superbly. As female Columbo villains become, she'due south correct upwardly at the top table.
Despite a lack of remorse for her actions, Kay remains a sympathetic figure to the audition throughout. She's carelessly cast abroad past draconian lover Marker, who's condescending dismissal of her from his life has the viewer firmly on her side. Her gentle treatment of Valerie also marks her out as someone with a genuinely skillful centre, making Flanagan'southward ruthless jettisoning of her services some other gigantic crushing blow.
The worst thing for Kay is finding out that everything Marker told her about her limitations was right. She was foolish in following her gut instinct in a failed attempt to get Valerie to perform in a family-friendly live show against the judgement of others, but she followed this up with a desperate hazard in choosing to fill the gap in the schedule with a gritty and violent spy thriller. And as Flanagan dismissed her, Kay can't take helped only hear Marking'south 'you don't take decisions – you make guesses' rebuke floating around in her head.
However, these power-broking men that take harnessed her strength and talents should as well have their share of the arraign. A bit of better mentoring from Mark on how to approach critical conclusion making would have been good for everyone. Instead, he seems to take pigeon-holed her as an proficient in putting out fires in an arroyo that can only hold her dorsum while elevating his own status. Damn men!
As Columbo killers become, Kay is under more continual stress than merely about anyone I tin can think of. Her task, her love-life, her friends all seem expressionless-ready on pain her. Her human action of murder is fix against a supremely tight borderline that, if missed, would absolutely doom her, while her attempts to recall the gun from the elevator lift are so tense that the viewer's heart fairly thumps forth every bit her struggles intensify.
No wonder, so, that Kay appears to be unravelling in the control berth at episode'southward finish as Columbo appears to wrap up the case. And if you're anything like me, when she regains her sophistication and tells the Lieutenant that she'll fight on, and that perhaps she'll win, I'one thousand absolutely rooting for her. Columbo has a strong example against her, just I similar to retrieve she gets off on a technicality in court and goes on to great things in her TV career, masterminding the downfall of CNC from a rival network.
"Falk dials information technology right downwardly here to evangelize his all-time operation of the season so far."
As an aside, another wonderful thing about Kay is her sense of fashion. Her clothing, her enormously thick 70s' hair, and her strength of listen all help her stand up out as one of Columbo's nearly kicking-ass women. It's fair to say she's stolenn a rather large piece of my centre.
It helps that Van Devere's conceivable performance is off-set past a much more restrained turn from Peter Falk. If you've read my review of previous episode Murder Nether Glass, you'll know that I was less than enamoured by the theatrical high-jinks notable in his performance there, which I found borderline infuriating. He dials information technology right down here to deliver his best performance of the season so far – and it'southward a very welcome return to form.
As befits the tone of the episode, Columbo is playing things straight hither. He's circumspect and focused, shrewd and amiable but never silly. Even his struggles with his cervix injury are nicely underplayed and at that place are plenty of opportunities for the two leads to build a natural rapport given the oodles of screen time they share.
As has become a theme of the series since Richard Alan Simmons took over production duties at the finish of season 6, there's an excellent scene where Columbo and Kay get the chance to actually gain a ameliorate understanding of the other – on this occasion at the run-down shack where Kay grew up.
The detective is able to literally and figuratively come across merely where the high-flying exec has come up from as the 2 share honest and interesting insights about their lives, while Kay realises the key differences between the 2. "You're a very special man, Lieutenant," she says. "Y'all accept things equally they are. I try to change them."
Whether or not this commutation adds fuel to Columbo'south suspicions isn't clear, merely an investigator as wily as he is can likely infer that Kay doesn't wait for opportunities to present themselves – she makes them and takes them for herself. Could that include murder? At this stage, I believe he certainly thinks and so, making this another actually adept scene.
Elsewhere, the episode makes the most of a great cast which, on paper, is as stiff as whatsoever in the entire serial. Laurence Luckinbill does a fine task in a few minutes of screen-time equally Mark McAndrews to become viewers fully off-side, while his stern, God-similar boss Frank Flanagan is given all the authority we could ask for past Patrick O'Neal, hither making his second Columbo appearance afterwards starring as murderer Elliott Markham in season one's Blueprint for Murder.
I'1000 a big fan of James McEachin, so was delighted to run into him pop upwardly for his own second Columbo outing, this time as projectionist Walter. It's not a big role, but it's well handled and again makes me lament the fact that McEachin was never cast as a Columbo killer. I think he'd have been crawly as the black murderer the show never had. What a missed opportunity!
Finally, special praise to Lainie Kazan, who was just fabulous as the delicate Valerie Kirk in a couple of fleeting scenes. A Broadway star herself in her early career, Kazan was superbly cast in a part that apes the troubled demise of Judy Garland, her lack of self-esteem and vulnerability to the temptation of booze and pills making her a pathetic figure.
Valerie and Kay'due south human relationship is an intriguing – not to mention nether-cooked – ane. This whole sub-plot serves to highlight merely why Kay was ultimately unsuitable for the chore she craved, simply it also raises major unanswered questions. Why did Kay have such faith in someone she knows had substance corruption issues? And exactly what type of human relationship do they have?
Conspicuously it's a deep and meaningful one. Some viewers even believe they may have been lovers – a very daring thought for the time. Whatsoever the truth the viewer is left to interpret things for themselves, but there's certainly a lot more going on than meets the centre, adding to the episode'south intrigue and the depth of Kay's character.
And so far, so skillful. But there are inevitably weaknesses in whatever Columbo outing and Brand Me a Perfect Murder is no unlike. For starters, the motive for murder is a pretty flimsy one. Yes, Kay has been jilted and treated with contempt by her lover – just is this enough to driver her to homicide?
The character equally written is equally determined and applied as they come up. I don't run across her committing murder over this. I meet her quitting the network, joining a rival, excelling and proving that git Mark McAndrews incorrect, although admittedly this wouldn't brand for great television.
The murder scene, every bit detailed to a higher place, is superb, but I feel that Kay flinging the glove on the floor of the booth was far likewise convenient a way of delivering a crucial clue to Columbo. Anyone who'south watched any murder mystery (as a network exec would've done zillions of times) would know that a glove would selection up gunpowder remainder. Certain, she needed to whip it off before Walter noticed, only wouldn't yous so discreetly choice it up and dispose of it at the first opportunity? Information technology's such an amateur error.
Columbo as well makes an erroneous ascertainment that Walter wouldn't have left the glove on the flooring considering of the immaculate condition he kept the berth in. If that was the example, why didn't Walter spot the glove himself and dispose of it? His very act of non tidying up the glove disproves Columbo's hypothesis that he keeps the booth in immaculate status!
"Kay flinging the glove on the floor of the booth was far too user-friendly a mode of delivering a crucial inkling to Columbo."
Granted, this is a minor gripe but I'm sure you tin can see where I'm coming from: Columbo ought to earn his clues through sound police work. This vital evidence is given to him far too hands. Without it, it would be very tough to convict. Oy vey…
Staying on the bailiwick of clues, when he first meets Kay the Lieutenant is fixated with the idea that Mark must have known his killer because he didn't need to put his bifocals on. A more plausible suggestion to my mind was that Mark was merely asleep with his glasses on his head. He was stretched out on the sofa, so why wouldn't constabulary assume he was having a kip? Again, it'south an example of Columbo's focus being too easily narrowed.
If those sins are forgivable, the episode's biggest failure is that pesky longer running time, which means Brand Me a Perfect Murder is packed with filler and, running at 100 minutes in length, is far likewise flabby for its own good. Regular readers will know that this is a familiar complaint of mine, but this episode is damaged more than most by the actress running time. Indeed, I'd pair it with Candidate for Crime as a good episode that could have been great if it had moved a bit quicker.
Whether it'due south a drawn out, hushed conversation between Columbo and his constabulary sergeant, unnecessary exposition well-nigh how projectionists know when to change reels (we've seen Double Exposure, ya know!), or Kay's overlong button-bashing meltdown as we reach the conclusion, there's a lot that could accept been cutting without dissentious the story. Fifty-fifty Columbo'south machine-crash and whiplash woes were added to bump up the running fourth dimension and I could accept easily lived without all that.
The worst instance of padding in Make Me a Perfect Murder may even be the worst example of padding in the entire 70s' run when nosotros meet Columbo tinkering with the controls within the technical booth. All the neck-braced Lieutenant does is push buttons, stare at patterns on a screen and await pleased with himself formore than than two minutes, which, I tin promise you, feels more similar two years. Nearly fans hate the scene and if you can't recall it, view information technology below with circumspection…
These imperfections accept the edge off what is an otherwise excellent episode. The core of the mystery is well-written, the pay-off satisfying and there are some lovely directorial touches courtesy of James Frawley, here helming his second of six Columbo episodes, after opening his account with Try & Catch Me two episodes before. Frawley even appears on screen every bit the suicidal spy in Kay'south star-crossed pic The Professional.
It'south as well well worth paying heed to Patrick Williams' sensational score, which is 1 of the very best of the classic era. Williams scored every episode of season 7 except Murder Under Glass, and would return to do v more in the 80s and 90s. His work here is every bit proficient every bit annihilation y'all'll hear on the big or pocket-sized screen, and does a great deal in enhancing the episode's unique atmosphere.
To sum it all up, Make Me a Perfect Murder makes for a compelling Columbo adventure. Similar Kay Freestone, it has a lot of the goods required to make it in the cut-throat televisual world. But, and again like Kay, it falls but short of being the best in the business. A perfect murder? Perhaps not, but a very diverting slice to cistron into your schedule the next time Valerie Kirk pulls out of a alive prove…
Did yous know?
A groundless myth exists that George C. Scott (Trish Van Devere'southward husband of the time) appears in this episode as the Goggle box technician Columbo speaks to up in the studio booth. This is, nonetheless, baloney! Make Me a Perfect Murder is a Scott-free zone!
For unknown reasons, Scott was previously credited on IMDB as appearing in this episode, but even Van Devere herself has scotched the rumour so if you lot hear of a fellow fan claiming that Georgie Boy is in this episode, please re-brainwash them ASAP.
As tin exist seen from the above picture, the two are very different fellas, with the uncredited technician actually played past John Furlong, a flake-role actor with dozens of film and Goggle box credits on shows such every bit The Rockford Files, Dallas and Murder, She Wrote.
Make Me a Perfect Murder is likewise notable in that it's one of the few 70s' episodes in which Columbo appears before the murder – this time in the very opening scene as his motorcar prang produces his whiplash injury.
The other 70s episodes in this exclusive club are Greenhouse Jungle, Troubled Waters, Candidate for Crime and A Case of Immunity. Columbo besides appears before the victim actually dies in Prescription: Murder and The Most Unsafe Friction match.
How I rate 'em
Hampered slightly by the usual concerns well-nigh padding out the longer running fourth dimension, Make Me a Perfect Murder remains an fantabulous Columbo episode and one that gives united states of america one of the series' most intriguing killers in Kay Freestone. As it is, it falls just short of my A-List, only a faster paced, 75-infinitesimal version could have been a expert few spots higher.
Cheque out any of my previous reviews via the links below.
- The Bye-Bye Heaven High IQ Murder Example
- Suitable for Framing
- Publish or Perish
- Double Shock
- Murder by the Volume
- Negative Reaction
- A Friend in Deed
- Try & Grab Me
- Death Lends a Hand
- A Stitch in Crime
- Now You See Him
- Double Exposure
- Lady in Waiting
- Troubled Waters
- Any Old Port in a Tempest
- Prescription: Murder
- A Mortiferous State of Mind —B-List starts here—
- An Exercise in Fatality
- Brand Me a Perfect Murder
- Identity Crisis
- Swan Song
- The Well-nigh Crucial Game
- Etude in Blackness
- By Dawn'due south Early Light
- Candidate for Crime
- Greenhouse Jungle
- Playback
- Forgotten Lady
- Requiem for a Falling star
- Design for Murder
- Fade in to Murder
- Ransom for a Expressionless Man
- Murder Under Glass —C-List starts here—
- A Example of Immunity
- Dead Weight
- The Most Dangerous Match
- Lovely but Lethal
- Short Fuse ———D-Listing starts here—-
- A Matter of Honor
- Listen Over Mayhem
- Old Fashioned Murder
- Dagger of the Mind
- Last Salute to the Commodore —Z-List starts here—
As ever I'd dearest to hear your views on this episode, which I believe is a popular one with many fans. What are its thrilling highs and devastating lows? And how do you rate Trish Van Devere every bit a killer?
Our next outing (expected in early on 2020) is How to Dial a Murder, the penultimate episode of the classic era in which Columbo risks life and limb to bring downwardly a homicidal movie fanatic who uses killer dogs to exercise his muddy work. See you then…
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Source: https://columbophile.com/2019/12/08/episode-review-columbo-make-me-a-perfect-murder/
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